Her name was Alice and she worked in Asda
She'd just been promoted from Pet Foods to Pastas
She fancied getting married and she hoped maybe he'd ask her
His name was Martin and he was on probation
For going into PC World and nicking a Play Station
He quite fancied an ASBO and a 'Gangsta' reputation
What a prat.
Today she was excited, after work he'd said he'd meet her
So at break she'd had a spray tan and for lunch pie with Ryvita
She'd already glued her nails on and her hair would look much neater
He'd just had a tattoo done, his third attempt at trying
To get through the procedure without persistent crying
His Mum had to collect him 'cos he'd told her he was dying
Such a nob.
So Alice, shift now over, all blinged up to meet her date
Was suddenly heart broken and instantly irate
To see Martin chatting up Chantelle who worked on 'Freshly Baked'
What to do?
Then Martin noticed Alice and his life became much scarier
When she walked up and drop kicked him right up his thick posterior
He landed to the words " Unwanted Item In Bagging Area"
So the moral of the story is
Don't try to be notorious
When all you're really doing is absolutely boring us...
You pathetic little Wimp!