Tuesday, 11 September 2012

The Lovers...

Her name was Alice and she worked in Asda

She'd just been promoted from Pet Foods to Pastas

She fancied getting married and she hoped maybe he'd ask her

One day.

His name was Martin and he was on probation

For going into PC World and nicking a Play Station

He quite fancied an ASBO and a 'Gangsta' reputation

What a prat.

Today she was excited, after work he'd said he'd meet her

So at break she'd had a spray tan and for lunch pie with Ryvita

She'd already glued her nails on and her hair would look much neater

Later on.

He'd just had a tattoo done, his third attempt at trying

To get through the procedure without persistent crying

His Mum had to collect him 'cos he'd told her he was dying

Such a nob.

So Alice, shift now over, all blinged up to meet her date

Was suddenly heart broken and instantly irate

To see Martin chatting up Chantelle who worked on 'Freshly Baked'

What to do?

Then Martin noticed Alice and his life became much scarier

When she walked up and drop kicked him right up his thick posterior

He landed to the words " Unwanted Item In Bagging Area"

Nuff Said!

So the moral of the story is

Don't try to be notorious

When all you're really doing is absolutely boring us...

You pathetic little Wimp!

©  Copyright Lynn Gerrard 2.8.2012


  1. Yaay, liked this. Good use of wordage!Clever rhyming. Funny. (Could be chief poetry critic for The Times with observations like this, couldn't I?)

  2. Wey Hey!! Welcome to my gutter!...'The Times'?..You'd be underselling yourself!...But I'd love to read your critique...can imagine you calling a spade a spade...Oh such joy hahaha!