Wednesday, 11 March 2015


As for my enemies

I have no words of discord

For are they not tortured enough

To bear such malice

© Copyright Lynn Gerrard 

Sunday, 8 March 2015

Where Lies the Monster...

Borne of man

Can you not see?

The Monster lies

In you not me

 Poem only © Copyright Lynn Gerrard 

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Heaven and Hell...


Borne not of Heaven

But of Hell.

For surely,

Only the Devil himself

Could so cruelly appoint

That which would tear us apart

Where monsters fail.

Poem only  ©  Copyright Lynn Gerrard

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Lick Your Wounds...

"Lick your wounds

And move along"

Works for some

But not for all

Sometimes the hurt

Can't be undone

And the pain will last


© Copyright Lynn Gerrard 

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

The Naked Gargoyle...

Many of those who know me, through the curious catacombs of social media, will know me best as The Grumbling Gargoyle, writer, poet and lover of all things weird and wonderful. 

Well, this Gargoyle has her own thing of wonder to share with you, and in order to do so she must strip herself of her stony garb and, as Lynn Gerrard, stand bare before you, to reveal all!...(no need for sick bags, I was speaking metaphorically)...let me explain.

In a bid to contain my excitement, I, that being the person beneath the granite, Lynn, am attempting to tell you this thing in a low key manner, whilst inwardly throwing a salvo of air punches to the sky!
Indeed, I am sat with a leisurely pose, breezily prodding at my keyboard, with the casual poke of a nonchalant typing finger.

Wallace Publishing
Oh who am I trying to kid?....

.....enough of that feigned composure!!...let's release the rapture!!....

I HAVE JUST SIGNED A FOUR BOOK CONTRACT FOR MY POETRY!!!....*does a little dance*...Yes!! I know!! Fantastic eh?....*does another little dance*

Fabulous Wallace Publishing, after viewing my work, decided to sign me up and I am most ecstatic, to say the least! It will be a few months before the first book will be available for purchase, as there's a lot that needs organising prior to its release, but I seriously cannot wait!

I'm equally pleased because those loyal and much appreciated followers of my work, will finally be able get their hands on the book they have requested from me, for such a long time!

Of course, at some point, in the not too distant future, the first book will be available for pre-order and I'll make that announcement when the time comes so you are assured of being one of the first to get your copy either in paper back form or as an e-book. 

For obvious reasons I haven't a title to share yet, or a cover to reveal, that will happen soon HOWEVER what I do have, is the promise of a fun packed launch party, to be held in my much loved home town of St Helens!

The venue itself has still to be arranged but wherever it is, there will be plenty of entertainment and lots for you to enjoy including performances by local artists and a smidgen of performance poetry chucked in, by yours truly!

Oh and don't worry, for those who live too further afield to attend in person, you won't miss out on the evening because you'll be able to join in with the frivolity online, via Live Streaming...(all will be explained closer to the time).

So, there we go! Exciting times indeed!

Now, whilst I am really looking forward to a future with Wallace Publishing, and delighted that they are keen to publish my poetry, I haven't forgotten everybody else!

Image result for twitter
I am most conscious that without the support and encouragement of my family, friends and of all those generous people who have, via Twitter, Facebook and through following my blog, shared my work with many other people, who might not have seen it otherwise, I may not have been in the position I am now...

So I will take this opportunity to say...

 "thank you everyone, I am genuinely grateful to you and you've done a great job"

But no sitting back yet!...we've books to sell! 

Monday, 19 January 2015

Behind Closed Doors...

Some of the brave performers 
Over the last few weeks, I have been humongously privileged enough to be part of a project, Stand Up To Stigma, funded by Time To Change and delivered by The Comedy Trust, whose aims endeavour to tackle the problem of mental health discrimination.

A group of us, under the guidance of some remarkable and dedicated people, crawled, with trepidation, beyond the boundaries of our personal sanctuaries, to leave ourselves exposed to the whims and cruelties of human nature, by each of us performing a stand-up comedy routine, written by ourselves, in front of an audience.

Friday, 16th January, 2015,  was our finale celebration at the local library, and regardless of my being one of the performers, I couldn't help but feel flushed with pride to witness the talents and the bravery of each act, as they put any issues they themselves might be suffering, or any issues they were privy to others suffering, to one side, in favour of doing their best, via their well delivered performances, in a bid to help educate others regarding the complexities of mental health and the stigma attached to it.

And I'll tell you something else, everyone of the performers routines was met with genuine hearty laughter! Indeed, quite a few people said that they had laughed more that night than at other comedy events where they had paid to watch 'professional' praise indeed...and rightly so.

I hope those who provide the funding will find a way to continue to do so, because money is running out now, and very,very soon, in about four weeks time, everything will come to an end. 

My Beloved
There are a couple of possibilities in the pipeline, which I'll tell you about, at some point, when they are better developed, but essentially, for the more immediate future, some other way to inject longevity into the project needs to be found now!

Maybe one of you can think of something?

It needs to be recognised just what a vital programme this is, and the amount of people who have already benefited and WILL benefit from its continuing.

Not just those suffering from mental illness, but those who would otherwise be restricted to adhering to supposition and archaic labelling theories, were they not better informed

AND, it is through this workshop and the subsequent performances, that I have also witnessed a growing interest, by the general public, in the issues brought to light.

Comedian Sam Avery - our mentor
More and more people are attending! More and more people are being made aware! Consequently, more and more people are being helped!

Indeed, the general public should be given credit here, because their positive reactions and feedback is helping to revive the belief, that there really is hope for all of us, for those suffering from mental illness and for those, who before this project came to light, were limited in their understanding of it.

In a world so dogged by tragedy, how wonderful to see a little comedy lighten even the darkest corner...

May the laughter continue...

I wrote this poem especially for the project Stand Up To Stigma


Our world exists

Behind closed doors

Where we hide from being judged

By the duplicity

Of yours

Yet even here we are not safe

From the preconceptions

And the prejudice.

You see, the world out there

Needs to get to know

The people whose lives

Are lived and lost

Behind closed doors

Instead of  branding and labelling

All it perceives 

To be a virulent strain

Of humanity

A mental illness is not a disease

It cannot be caught

Through a cough or a sneeze

Ignorance is the germ to avoid

A contagious bug

That must be destroyed

By injecting understanding

And paving the way

Towards saving us from stigma

By stripping us of shame.  © 

Here's a video of me showing myself up at the Stand Up To Stigma Finale...

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Grumbling Gargoyle and Mother Gargoyle's Big Bite Out!.....**BLOG POST**

Went for a bite to eat with MG ....( Mother Gargoyle )...recently, where, over a hot, festively frothy coffee, she reflected upon her childhood, eighty plus years ago, and the delightful simplicity of play, in a time when paved streets were the canvas upon which your imagination painted its own landscape of fun.

Engrossed by her tales of yesteryear, of her growing up in a gas lit, terraced street of the 30's, I gradually became conscious of a warm glow filtering through the chilled atmosphere of winters trappings to rest upon my heart, as I delighted in watching MG's face brighten with her happy reflections.

That's when MG casually chucked into the conversation how her and some of her friends would knock upon a neighbours door and ask if they could view the dead!..." Ah those were the days"...

I thought I'd misheard her, and I told her so....

"Oh no" she answered with a warm smile " It's what you did back then, we always did it!"

"Hold on mum, you 'always' did it? What do you mean? Did you just knock on random doors and hope there'd be a dead body inside or was it part of a tenancy agreement that you kept one? Was this a weekly, was there a specific day set to one side for wash day or shopping day...did you have 'visit the dead at home day'?"

She did that thing with her eyelids, you know, that thing you do when you half droop them like a narrowed shutter to minimise the amount of stupid your eyes are witnessing!

And then after a swallow of coffee she continued...

"It was the custom, back then, that when someone died in our street we'd go round to the house and ask to see the body" she paused here, for another little slurp, before finishing with...."and then we'd kiss it"

Instantly I regretted just having taken a huge gulp of my own coffee, as my flabergasted state caused me to spray most of it over myself and everyone within a 1 metre radius of our table...

" Oh for God's sake mother!! Kiss it!!! Why the hell would you do that???" I asked incredulously

With an exasperated 'tut' she went on...

" Because that's just how it was!...anyway, I stopped doing it when old Mrs Green from over the road died, because seeing her gave me was a struggle to kiss her, I can tell you!"

My face went through a series of expressions worthy of gymnastic merit, each displaying varying levels of repulsion, before asking..."Why, what was it about Mrs Green, in particularly, that scared you?"

Sitting back in the chair in the eatery, after a lengthy sigh and with a little bit of a shudder, MG sat forward, somewhat conspiratorially, to share with me in quieted whispers...

" She was a small grey haired woman, tiny and withered....her eyes were wide open and staring. Her mouth was open too but they'd stuffed cloth into it...REALLY stuffed it in!...She had a surprised look on her face and hollowed cheeks!" reclining back into her chair she shivered with the memory and drifted into a contemplative swig of her coffee.

My mind was flitting from...the possibility that given Mrs Greens post-mortem state...( bulging staring eyes...rag stuffed into gob )... maybe natural causes wasn't much of a truism to have etched onto the Death a series of business cards, that would have come in handy at the time, advertising the services of the most industrious partnership called 'Kiss A Corpse Inc'...and the slogan?.....'You Snuff It. ~~ We Snog It'........Hm...I think there's room for a revival here!....

Anyway, just as I was mentally sifting through the possibilities for merchandising this, cups, T Shirts...Lip Balm!....our food arrived...

I'd ordered a Chicken Caesar Salad, which, by the look of it, had been designed to represent the death of Julius Caesar himself! The lettuce lay across the plate in a theatrical state of withered collapse, like a disassembled laurel leaf crown, bearing the scars of a frenzied knife attack!

This being apparent by the profusion of brown, wounded leaves which were evident. The 'brown', as I'm sure you know, occurring due to the oxidisation process caused by the reaction of metal upon the lettuce....( impressive eh?...*smug grin* )...

As for the rest of the ingredients, as sparse as they were!...well, the chef must have flung them onto the plate via catapult whilst to-ing and fro-ing, at some speed, from his lofted position on his mood swing!!!...They were just measly, scattered offerings of chicken that wouldn't have provided sufficient nourishment to feed the actual chicken in the first place!...had that bizarre situation ever occurred.

MG had ordered fish and chips which, unfortunately, had also succumbed to the effects of the chef's psychotic break!
To be fair his mindset, despite its meltdown, remained loyal to a theme, and on this occasion he had seen fit to cook my mothers fish as a tribute to the victims of the eruption of Mount Vesuvius, AD 79.

Indeed, looking at the fish, which lay preserved, in an impossibly curled position upon the plate, it was obvious that it had been subjected to the same pulse of thermal energy that the poor residents of Pompeii and Herculaneum had suffered on that fateful day! All that was missing from this pseudo-biblical tableau, was a layer of ash from the chefs fag!

Well, whilst the culinary trip through the dark annals of history had been an engaging affair, our grumbling stomachs demanded to be fed and so, after voicing our complaint, the previous disaster was replaced with fare of such equally disastrous content, as to convince me that the chef had finally managed to attain a level of psychosis never before known to man nor lobotomist!

The chicken, and whatever other unidentifiable scraps which accompanied it, were even more meagerly distributed than before, and whilst the lettuce was more fresh this time,  psycho-chef had used enough of it as a filler on the plate as to feed the entire cast of Watership Down for several sequels!!

This time, MG 's fish  had taken on a mummified appearance, dry and tightly bound in breaded wrappings, applied haphazardly in such a style as to suggest the chef was wearing boxing gloves!

It was at this point myself and MG, our appetites now depleted, decided to admit defeat and so, after acquiring a well deserved refund, we made our escape from the restaurant with a backdrop of clanging pots and pans as an accompaniment.

Lunch hadn't quite been what we'd expected and we wondered what we could do to bring some cheer into the rest of our day...

"How about a nice walk around the cemetery?" suggested a smiling MG

"Mother, I can't think of anything more perfect" said I.............and with decision made, off we went, with a jolly step, to canter with the cadavers....

                                 © Copyright Lynn Gerrard 2.8.2012